For the past few nights I’ve been sitting in front of my computer, thinking of something profound to write, but it may be too presumptuous to assume that my short life experience is enough to impart any great wisdom. And then suddenly, I looked around my room for inspiration and I see an old newspaper lying beneath my bed.In the dim light , he only word that I could discern was “ Suicide”. Intrigued, I went and picked it up. The paper was about two weeks old (yes,my room is that messy). And on the front page it said “ Student from Osmania University commits suicide”.
I the first time I had heard about the term suicide. I was in class 6(yes, my vocabulary was that pathetic) and writing some examination, when the principal came in and made an announcement that a student three years my senior had committed ‘suicide’ . Apparently she was scared that she had not studied enough for an exam, and reasoned that life was no longer worth living. While I did sympathize with the girl and her family, I couldn’t stop thinking to myself “ Why the hell would anyone want to do that?”
Having never really attemped to kill myself, I really cant give you the ‘insider’s view’. I’ve never had any tangible reason to want to do so. However, I will at least share with you something that I have learned.
First off, Life isn’t a bed of roses. It would be wrong for me to even pretend to dispute this fact . Sometimes it feels that everything your doing is pointless, and that you’re of no use to anybody; that no one would care whether you lived or died. This mortal existence of ours is filled with struggle and strife. In a world filled with such hate and violence, I can state with a degree of certainity that yes, Life can be a B****.
On the other hand, One needs to understand that life ( contrary to some beliefs ) IS a gift!. Despite all the problems in your life, you have to understand that life, in itself is a manifestation of such beauty that words themselves cannot fittingly express. Life is suffering. It's anguish. It's pain. And yet, we must have it--at any cost. Are you so enchanted by the thought of killing yourself that you'll overlook your love of life? And you do love it. Smell the sea, gaze at the stars at night. Watch the sunrise? Look into your heart and tell me that you're willing to make the choice of killing youself or enjoying what little time you have left .
Its said that you can either be sad that the rose came with thorns, or be happy that wih the thorns came a beautiful rose. The same holds true in the case of your life and its problems. Life is beautiful for God’s Sake! I have never been able to understand the logic of willfully surrendering such a treasure.
How dark can One’s existence be when compared to an eternal void? Unless, of course, one has faith that there is something beyond. What do a suicide victims see? A bright light at the end of the tunnel? Is it a ray of hope? A glimmer of something better? Or will it burn you like the rising sun? Do they hear the trumpeting of St Peter’s angels, or the tortured screams of Lucifer’s many slaves?
We can't really answer that, can we? Because we’el will never know the answer until after the deed is done. Are you really willing to go to such lengths to test your faith?And is your faith really that strong? If it is, then know this too! Every faith teaches that life is a treasure itself, and is meant to be lived and enjoyed as such.
I understand the need to move on. Sometimes the pain does become seemingly unbearable. It is something that happens to us all. But if your time has truly come, I also understand that with the beauty of this life, there comes pain and despair. No one is immune. But consider what you have in your hands! Don't trade a treasure for an empty box!
Look, I know that I haven’t suffered as much as a lot of other people have, so Im probably not the best person to be giving a discourse on how beautiful life is. I do know this however. Life is short, and its meant to be lived to its fullest until the last moment. Don’t try to cut it short. Stick around and enjoy the ride!
